Peace Like a River

Ok so I want to start off by saying that I will not apologize for giving this story to the news because this should be brought to everyone's attention and part of the reason that it has been continuing for so long is because USF has been trying to keep it hushed. With that said if you are a girl and have ever used the girls locker room then you NEED to read this.


The full story can be found on the front page of today's Oracle or at this link:

http://media.www.usforacle.com/media/storage/paper880/news/2008/04/25/News/A.Hole.In.Students.Privacy-3350226.shtml



Now that you have read the article you will know exactly what i'm speaking of and how I can't reveal anymore information because there is an actual police investigation going on. Now I will say that I am searching for a taser or weapon that would better suit me in addition to the knife i already carry. Because the idiot that wrote the article decided that it was necessary to put when I work (which i don't think was necessary) I know have to be very careful. It makes me uneasy that people know so much about me and the only reason I post this is because I think people should be informed of the situation and the more people that know maybe the more that will be done. In turn, I have ventured onto very dangerous territory to the point where I am stared at very akwardly at work and was even told that I shouldn't have gone to the police that we should have solved the problem internally first. That's bs and i'm not gonna settle for that.

Anyways I'm applying for a concealed weapons permit...i'm not getting a gun though cuz I think that would be stupid but I will be getting a taser or stun gun that can shoot voltage up to 16 ft away which I think shall be sufficient.

So this weekend B's sister rode the bus over to come see me. It was crazy cause this is the first time she has been away from home without her mom or a family member and on a bus nonetheless. But I think she had a really great time and enjoyed a break. Friday I picked her upfrom the station and we met up with my roommate at this really weird mexican restaurant and then went to the bookstore and by that time it was pretty late so we just came home and crashed. Saturday we woke up and got ready for BULLSTOCK VI which is an outdoor concert series at USF (like livestock with all the bands minus the druggies). It was awesome! My favorite band - One Republic- performed and they were even better in person. I remember distinctly when I first started listening to them over 2 years ago when I moved to Maine. I discovered them on myspace and got hooked on the song "apologize" this was way before they were ever on the radio or famous so it was cool to see how far they'd come. Plus the band is really hot!!!!! I was practically hyperventilating when they came over to sign autographs. That was another thing about them that was great. They are still so new that they really do care about the fans. I got to talk to each band member and they were just genuinely nice guys.

Well besides them JHoliday was there. He is a lot smaller than I expected lol. He's really skinny with no body and kinda short. But he's a good performer. He just got up there and sang to each person in the audience, looking directly in their eyes. It was pretty intense lol. At one point he stared me down and B's sister was so jealous haha. The thing that really got everyone though was that he was the only performer that just took off right after his show. All the other bands stuck around and were friendly so it was a big dissappointment.

So after that I took B's sister on a tour around the university and we ate at the nasty cafeteria lol. Then we went to a jacuzzi at the apartments across the street.It was pretty fun cuz there were these three drunk guys hanging out and they started talking with us about tatoos and one of them getting married and just a bunch of random stuff. After that we went to the movies to see "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" it was the funniest freakin movie i've seen since superbad. Oh my gosh we were dying laughing. But the best part was when we went to taco bell at 1am and there were these bums with a table setup and they were trying to sell fried chicken on the side of the road. hahahahahaha that has to be the most random thing ever!

Sunday we got up at 7:30 to go to church and then came home and I cooked dinner for everyone then we just hung out at the pool for a few hours. On the way back to the bus station B's sister asked me one of the most touching questions ever and just made my day. She got real serious and said are you and B gonna get back together cuz I think you guys should...ya'll should get married and have babies (lol). And I just said I didn't know that we would see. But ya she started telling me how I was her favorite out of his girlfriends since she's knownme the longest and i'm practically part of the family. It just really made my day to know that his family really does love me. So we'll see what happens in the future. He comes home May 10 yay! That can't come soon enough oh my gosh I miss him soooo much!

Alright that's enough for now lol!

So there's this duck that has laid eggs and made a nest right next to my front door. it is freakin weird cuz every time i come home i look over and the duck makes eye contact with me, ready to pounce because i'm invading her area. i feel like my life is in jeopardy everytime i'm near my door. it's just crazy.

So yesterday I worked 16 and a half hours straight...it was definitely a struggle...and then i had to be up and at work again today at 6am

To start off I just want to express how much I LOVE when there is something with free food at school. That is basically the only way I eat nowadays : (


But anyways it has been 3 months now....and I still listen to sappy music and find myself reflecting on the great times we had and how special each moment felt. At the time i felt that they would never come to an end, all the while knowing that they soon would. It was something we both knew from the start but I refused to let myself pass up an opportunity to be with him based on him leaving in 6 months. And boy am I glad I didn't because that had to be one of the most amazing times in my life. As each day passed I felt myself falling harder and harder for a man whom had captured my heart many years ago.  A man who over the years had grown closer and closer as a friend, and then grow as something more. He is by far one of the most amazing men I have ever met in my life and everything about him is endearing and respectable and everything a man should be. Maybe that's why I can't move on....I have thought about him EVERY single day for the past 3 months since he left. He is the first thing I think of when I wake up...I wonder what he's doing, whether he will send me a message today, if he thinking about me, and how wonderful it would be to roll over and snuggle into his arms like I used to in the mornings. And that is how it is ALL day long. Then I double check the countdown to his return (which is 4 weeks now) when he will be back here for the summer. I've gone on one date (which was last friday) since him and it was horrible. I haven't so much as kissed or gotten remotely close to another male at all because nothing feels right. Noone can make me feel like he did and I fear that I will never find someone who will make me feel like that again....someone who connects with me the way we did. I got to visit him a few weeks ago yet it feels like an eternity. Distance sucks! I just wish I could gothrough a day without it hurting so much or without missing him so much. I just wish everything could go back to the way it was.... oh how I LOVE YOU and always will.

Well hello all! This is the first entry of what I hope will be a regularly updated journal.

Today I woke up sick as a dog after what had to have been the worst date I have ever been on! Oh my word it was insane. I met this guy in the gym where I work and he gave me his number so I figured what the heck I will take my chances and give him a call...haha oh my. Well we went out to dinner at a sushi restaurant which was amazing. The food was great but he kept insisting I have sake which I was fine with sipping on however he wanted us to take continuous shots. (I don't really drink ever except the occassional drink if I go out with a friend or wine with dinner) so I started to get annoyed with him pestering me. Then we left the restaruant at which point I was wondering whether he was ok to drive and he assured me he was (sounds stupid I know). So the plan was that we were gonna go to a bar and hang out with his friends because one of them were moving away the next day so it was kinda like a going away thing. So we meet up with them and I was beyond appalled. They have to be hands down the most crudest, vulgar people I have ever met in my life; no class or manners what so ever. So i'm standing there listening to their disgusting jokes while the idiot I am on the date with is staring at me like i'm a piece of meat...very uncomfortable. So needless to say I was unimpressed, especially considering his friends kept saying that he was trying to impress me. I definitely didn't believe his little splurge that he was not like his friends! Anyways we went to the bar where I had to listen to their incesent stupidity and poor attempts to pick up women, mixed with my repulsion with the date who continued to stare at me weirdly and felt the need to touch me on the arm or leg everytime he spoke. All in all I ended up going to the bathroom a lot to gain some time away from him and text my friends and was glad when he said he was ready to go home. I told him I was tired and wanted him to drop me straight home to which he responded "are you sure you don't wanna hang out some more?" ARE YOU KIDDING ME???????  So this morning I wake up to a text from him saying how sorry he was because he was SLIGHTLY drunk the night before. This was not my idea of a first date by any means and I hope he doesn't come work out at the gym during my shift in the near future because I could go without seeing him ever again.

Ok so that's my rant. I had a cold and a fever today when I woke up and was sincerely annoyed because I'm sure that the alcohol is what agravated my body making my little sniffle I had the past week ten times worse. Thank goodness I had today off!